Donkey God

The more realistic you are as you prepare for marriage, the more likely you are to have a successful one. Therefore, it is incumbent upon you to give serious consideration to your expectations of your fiancé. Are they realistic? Are they fair?

Far too many couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations of the marriage and of each other. In more marriages than we would choose to believe, couples inability to meet the other’s expectations resulted in the marriage’s premature demise.

Here are 4 don’ts that if adhered to will avert a lot of discord and emotional turmoil in the marriage and help to make your marriage a satisfying one.

1) Don’t expect your partner to be able to read your mind. It is unfair, unrealistic and nescient. Some people get an attitude and break marital harmony because they did not get the “gift” they expected or wanted, yet they did not communicate this to their spouse. Our minds are too complex and changing for anyone to know what we are thinking. TELL your partner what you want or be open to accepting whatever is given you in the spirit in which it is given. Of course, this is not only in regards to the material but to behaviors as well. Let your partner know what your expectations are. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

2) Don’t think you are going to have a “perfect” marriage. To do so is to set yourself up for an enormous let-down. There is no such thing. How can anyone expect a perfect marriage when there is no perfect person? You are as imperfect as your intended wife or husband. If a person was inane enough to try to do everything you wanted them to do and behave exactly as you dictated, you would still have an imperfect marriage and one does not have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why.

3) Don’t believe your partner can make you happy. Come on now. Wake up and smell the coffee. No one has the power to make us happy. This is something we can only do for ourselves and it is a choice. For example, let’s say your new husband/wife decided to cook a special meal for you with all the trimmings. You are both surprised and delighted. Now, did he/she make you happy? NO. You made yourself happy. How? In recognizing his/her thoughtfulness in going through the trouble of creating this meal, you chose to appreciate what was done for you which had a positive affect and you felt “happy.” Take the same scenario only this time you are displeased. You don’t like what was cooked and think your spouse should have “known” this and you choose to display an attitude of disapproval. Negative feelings are evoked and what was intended to be pleasant turns ugly. Did your spouse make you unhappy? NO. You made yourself unhappy. How? By chosing to be non-appreciative and negative in your thinking which resulted in a negative affect, “unhappiness or displeasure.” In other words, how each individual choose to interpret events, behaviors, communications determines how each individual will “feel”. Negative feelings cannot be produced by positive thoughts.

4) Don’t be on police stake-out patrol. No human wants to feel they are being watched 24/7 or need to give an account for every place they go or justify for everything they do. Nor do they want you following them like a shadow. No couple want their partner with them all the time. We all need space to grow, space to share with others, space to be alone. Don’t expect your partner to want to do everything with you. If you have trust issues, deal with it BEFORE you say “I Do.”

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. http://www.clergyservices4u.org. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, will be available in July.

You’re in love. You’re ga-ga. Let’s face it… you’re both crazy!

Yet you somehow summoned the presence of mind to make a
life-changing decision: to get married.

When the chemistry is right between two people, and there seems
no other clear path than to tie the knot, the time is ripe for
marriage. Amid the general confusion and effusion and delusion,
this is probably the only really serious decision you’re capable
of at the moment, as a couple. It’s natural, it’s right, it’s
obvious. Now all you have to do is back up your vows…with a
lifetime of love.

Simple? Not hardly.

Love comes on strong, grabs you both by the lapels and shakes
until the rings fall out of your pockets. It’s just the nature
of the beast. But that does not diminish the lifetime of
dedication and respect two people willingly give each other long
after the crazed-in-love period wanes.

Whether you write your vows or repeat the time-honored, “Till
death do us part” phrases, just take a moment, before you make
your promises, to reflect upon the words you choose to say to
each other.

Maybe you gravitate toward Aristotle’s famous quote, “Love is
composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” Maybe you came
across Thomas Moore’s idea, “Marriage is an Athenic weaving
together of families, of two souls with their individual fates
and destinies, of time and eternity–everyday life married to
the timeless mysteries of the soul.” Or possibly you both prefer
the lighter, albeit somehow more poignant, perspective of Winnie
the Pooh: “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together
keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.”

Whatever you decide to promise, mean it with every fiber of your
being. The meaning of your wedding depends upon the depths of
your sincerity. And your journey together on Planet Earth does
too.

Wedding day is one of the most auspicious and important day in anyone’s life and it will be of utmost importance to the engaged couples to organize and plan the wedding function properly and hassle free. But whatever be the type of attention that the couple pays to the arrangements for their wedding function, there would be some minor glitches here and there, which will not be able to detected by them.

Engaged couples these days, hire professional and experienced wedding planners to take care of all the activities and infrastructure needed for making their wedding a memorable one. The most important duties that the engaged couple should ask the event and wedding planners to arrange are the reception hall, accommodation and transport facilities of the guests, photographers, catering services and also the entertainment part of the wedding. Other duties that the couple can engage the event and wedding planners to do include arrangement of the wedding cake, flowers for the wedding, bride and grooms wedding costumes, the church, the seating and table arrangement etc.

If you choose to hire a wedding planner you should also provide him or her with a clear target wedding planner budget which can work both ways, your budget for paying the wedding planner, and a budget for the planner to keep in mind.

The mother of the bride is a very important part of the wedding day. In a traditional ceremony and reception the mother of the bride has certain duties and roles to fulfill. The bride needs to analyse carefully what her mothers role will be, according to each person?s wishes. She will act as a hostess at a formal reception, fulfilling the wishes of her daughter.

The bride and groom may want a traditional wedding, in which the mother of the bride will carry out these roles. If this is the plan, however, than there are many things to plan for and consider. The brides mother will act as the organizer of her daughters wedding. She will organise the guest list, and be in charge of the invitations.

Other duties include: helping choose the flowers for the ceremony and reception, accommodation for guests, acting between the two families, among other duties. She will want to assist her daughter with choosing a dress, and other dress plans, and bridesmaid dresses. She will want to wear a dress or outfit that fits the approval of the bride, in keeping with the style and specific faith of the wedding. In following tradition and custom, the mother may wear and hat and gloves if she so wishes. However it is her choice, as well as the brides choice for all matters of dress.

For the ceremony, the mother of the bride will be escorted to her seat on the left side of the aisle. If there is no adult bridesmaid, the bride will hand her mother the bouquet, and she will take it with her when the bride and groom sign the register. During the recessional, she will walk beside the grooms father down the aisle. This signifies the unification of the two families. She will than continue on with the day into the reception, acting as a formal hostess according to her daughters wishes.

Ken and Deidre Bissonette are successful authors and publishers of wedding information for all brides and grooms http://www.weddingdresses-gifts-flowers.com

It is a known fact that weddings don’t come cheap. Many weddings are now pushing the £17,000 mark! Naturally, all brides are looking at ways to keep the cost down but keep the quality up and what better place to start than by searching for inexpensive wedding favours? World of Wedding Favours offer fantastic favours of exceptional quality at low-cost prices. Cheap wedding favours can easily be made or purchased ready made yet at highly competitive prices. No bride wants her wedding favours to be of poor quality and guests to remember her wedding as “the one with the cheap wedding favours” and of course this would not be the case if you purchase good quality materials.

If you want your wedding to be first class in every way, there is no such thing as a cheap wedding favour. You certainly get what you pay for although it is possible to find inexpensive wedding favours at certain stores such as World of Wedding Favours. Quality, elegance and class must all precede cost when you are looking for quality wedding favours to supply to your guests. It is important that if you are making wedding favour boxes that they are decorated with ribbons and flowers and filled with high quality almonds, candy, dragees or chocolate hearts. Equally, if you are making traditional bomboniere that the nets are secured with pretty ribbons and the edible contents are of high quality in decor and taste.

You may wish to offer your guests inedible wedding favours such as wedding favour playing cards. Again, these can end up looking like cheap wedding favours if they are not beautifully presented perhaps in a co-ordinating organza bag or a decorated elegant wedding favour box.

Inexpensive wedding favours can clearly be purchased and produced though quality components need to be used otherwise the outcome will be tacky, cheap looking wedding favours.

After planning such a beautiful and successful day, the last thing you want on your mind is your guests leaving your wedding reception thinking that you have cut corners by offering them cheap wedding favours. For example, you can put together some inexpensive wedding favours by organza bags and filling them with a range of confectionery to suit your wedding theme. You may opt for a small wedding favour box filled with colour co-ordinating candy. Both options suggested here are of fabulous quality but reasonably priced. So, you can offer guests inexpensive wedding favours that don’t look like cheap wedding favours by selecting the right supplier. World of Wedding Favours are experts at creating quality wedding favours as well as custom orders.

(c) World of Wedding Favours

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